My Favorite Baby Books

It seems like everyone I know in my age group is either pregnant right now or has a new baby. I think about the right advice to give them and out of all the things I could tell them, I think the best use of my time (and theirs) is to give them a list of books and read about it. So here are all my favorite books that got me through Benjamin's first year, and some others that I was not crazy about for one reason or another, and one that is truly terrible.

My Favorites

The Breastfeeding Book by Martha & William Sears
Martha is an R.N. and William is an M.D. and they are parents of 8 or 9 kids, all of whom were breastfed. This book was recommended by the P.A. in my OB's office and it was my Bible for the first few months. Ben and I had a hard time at first for various reasons (C-section, no help in the hospital, etc) and this book helped me figure out the problems and gave me the encouragement to keep on trying and it's a big part of why we are still happily breastfeeding today. The authors are proponents of co-sleeping, but even if you don't want to do that (I didn't), it still is extremely helpful. I would suggest buying it during your pregnancy and taking it with you to the hospital. The lactation consultants in the hospital are often too busy to really spend the time to help you, and even an in-home consultant can only help so much during a visit.

Baby 411 by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, M.D.
This is a comprehensive yet concisely written book that will help you through those difficult first 6 months. I like that it is laid out in chapter by subject, such as feeding, sleep, illness, etc, unlike those other month by month books which repeat a lot of the same information needlessly every chapter. The sleep chapter was especially helpful- Ben slept through the night pretty early and I got him to fall asleep on his own by 4 or 5 months without a lot of fuss. It has some great tips for getting your baby to sleep and outlines all the major methods- such as Ferber, Weisbluth, Pantley, etc and tells you the bad and good about each of them. Then you can decide for yourself which method you want to use. There are indexes on types of medicine, and the fact that it was written by a pediatrician and a mom means you are getting the best of both worlds-realistic advice that is based on sound medical opinion.

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron
This is a great guide to making your own organic baby food, what you should feed your child and when they are old enough for each food. I used it all the time and it's much easier than it sounds. The secret is ice cube trays! Steam & puree and large quantity and freeze in the trays, using labeled freezer bags to store them. One cube is the perfect portion size for babies. The author is a vegetarian and goes a bit crazy with all the supplements, but I still found her advice to be beneficial. I like feeding Ben balanced meatless dishes for lunch or dinner a few times a week- no reason to always feed meat. Some of the information may be a bit outdated (but it may be remedied in the new edition) and it's a little confusing to get through sometimes, but overall a very good book. It also includes some great tips on anything from how to throw a successful birthday party for your child to how to save money on groceries.

The Family Nutrition Book by William & Martha Sears
Another one of the Dr. Sears family of books. I have not read any of the others, but I would be willing to bet they are good too. I like their philosophies and gentle ways of parenting. This book is a bit wordy, but anything that is not covered or is outdated in Super Baby Food is in this book. It's broken up into chapters based on the food groups, more or less and takes a whole family approach rather than just covering the first few years. They emphasize organic foods, which I love. Super Baby Food is more in depth in terms of when to introduce foods to your baby, but this book will be good in the long run. It also includes a healthy weight loss plan for moms who still need to lose some baby weight.

Bringing Up Geeks
I originally picked it up because I loved the title, and consider myself pretty nerdy anyway. (Plus there is my favorite game as a child- something my sisters and a friend invented called Fix Up The Geek- but that's for another post.) I love the idea that kids should be kids- not little cell-phone talking, video-game playing, rude mini-teenagers. In this book, the work GEEK stands for Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids. I want my son to be excited about learning and to treat others with respect, and not get sucked into the "cool crowd" and that's what this book is all about. There is nothing earth-shattering in this book, but it's amazing how many kids these days are not raised with these values.

Not Great Books, But Not Terrible:

The What to Expect books
Yes, I know, everyone has them. They are recommended everywhere. But I'm not a big fan. I don't like the layout. They are wordy, repetitive and often outdated and impractical. And when you have a question or problem, what new mom has the time and energy to comb through such a thick volume trying to find the information that she needs? It's so repetitive with its month by month format that when you look up a subject in the index you will find it 10 times in different chapters, and when you go to the page, the subject will be discussed in tiny snippets, often the same information over again. Still, they do have some good information. You just have to be willing to read a lot before you get to it.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child By Marc Weisbluth
First, the good:
I like some of the ideas in this book, and I like that there is research behind it. Namely, getting them into a good sleep schedule early enough (by about 4 months) so that you don't have to resort to the cry it out method when they are 9 or 10 months old and still not sleeping well. The book does explain other ways to soothe them and set up good sleep habits and be consistent with them from the beginning. I also love the section on sleep schedules- when and how often they should nap at what age, and when they should go to bed and wake up. I think most kids could benefit from an earlier bedtime.
And the bad:
I think there are better ways of getting your child to sleep than letting them scream endlessly. Granted, he does caution you not to use the cry it out method until the baby is at least 6 months old. But it also includes some parent testimonials discussing how tough it was for them to let their kids cry. The one that really got to me (and made me put down the book) was the one where the parents heard the little 10 or 11 month old boy cry in his room for 2 hours and when they finally went in to check on him, he had fallen asleep in his crib standing up. I don't have a problem with a little whining or babbling or even a few minutes of crying (not screaming) before falling asleep- but 2 hours- even 15 minutes is too much for me. The poor little guy in the book screamed until he was exhausted and fell asleep with his head hanging over the crib. I felt so bad for that poor child. But I guess if you didn't get your child sleeping well in the first 8 or 9 months, maybe for some really stubborn kids, this would be the only way. (So glad I never had to find out.)
Also, the book suffers from poor editing, wordiness and disorganization. It could be shortened by about 50 pages and still contain the pertinent information.

Truly Bad Parenting Books

On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam
This book was written by a pastor with no medical knowledge. This is the first in a series of parenting books by the same author. While I did not read this book, The American Pediatric Association has issued warnings about this book, since it advocates a strict feeding and sleeping schedule from birth, resulting in moms with a low milk supply and underweight babies. It is based on the idea that babies are little manipulators that will control their parents if the parent does not control them, which is a dangerous assumption. Psychologically, newborns and babies up to about 6 months old are incapable of being spoiled or of manipulating anyone. They need to eat when they are hungry, and sleep when they are tired, and there is nothing wrong with that.